Do you know this subtle jealousy when you see a post from someone and they look like they have it all figured out? Success in their job. A happy family with children playing nicely in the garden. Their relationship seems as stable as ever. And they even look gorgeous on all of their pictures?
A perfect picture book.
An internal voice starts wondering:
When did I miss the turn to the right career?
How has she managed this kind of success at her age?
When will I finally get my act together?
We can spiral in those thoughts and completely question our self-worth, starting to believe that we’re behind, or not worthy, or not good enough.
There’s something we need to be aware of here.
The stories we tell ourselves when we scroll.
The unevidenced conclusions we draw about other people’s lives.
Here is a reminder to everyone who may have fallen into this comparison trap.
What we see is a fraction of the whole picture.
A carefully curated picture.
We are rarely witnessing the full landscape.
The woman whose business you admire may be lying awake at night worrying about her next gig. The father who shares thoughtful reflections on parenting may have lost his temper that very morning. The coach who writes about clarity and confidence might be questioning her own direction (happens to me all the time!).
We can be thriving professionally and struggling privately. We can feel confident in one area and completely uncertain in another. We can look composed and still battle an inner restlessness that wants to scream.
I’ll give you an example from my life. People keep saying how calm and relaxed I am with my children. They admire how patiently I wait for the children until they’re ready. My mum being my biggest supporter in all this! The reality is – I often interrupt my children because I cannot wait to get out of the house. I still help my 7-year old put on his shoes for the same reasons. I threaten them to leave them at home on their own if they don’t get moving.
How did people get this impression of me being all calm and patient with my kids?
Reducing someone to what they portrait about themselves does them a disservice.
But it also does something to us.
It distorts reality.
It narrows our perspective.
It subtly convinces us that we are the only ones who haven’t “figured it all out”.
When I speak to potential new clients for the first time and they feel stuck or behind, there’s often this hidden assumption that everyone else is moving forward with certainty. The first thing I often respond with is normalise the situation and reassuring them that they are not alone on this journey.
Every single person we admire has their challenge.
Struggling with their relationship.
A health concern.
A financial pressure.
A restless child who refuses vegetables.
A dream that hasn’t yet materialised.
We just don’t see that part.
The next time that subtle flicker of jealousy appears, maybe remind yourself: there is always more to the story.
Career change coaching 